Holding moments
by lupin and black
Summary: Slightly AU. Sam is the family photographer.
1. Chapter 1

There was a picture John carried in the pocket of his jacket. It was not something he looked at often but it was always there. The edges where faded, the color was going but the image was still clear. It had been taken years ago in a town they had spent a week in. The hunt had been a vengeful ghost, John doesn't remember the details, it had been an average hunt but he remembers that night. Sitting out back of the motel, Dean was rebuilding his gun, Sam reading his book, John cleaning his knives. They had been talking, a simple conversation, a rear type of easy atmospheres. Sam had run back to the room and come back with his camera, he set it up and got them all huddle together. It was an easy night, the hunt had gone well and they still had another day till they moved on. It was summer and Sam didn't mind the moving so much. The picture was one of a series Sam took that night. It was the first or the last John doesn't remember. Dean's smile is bright and effortless, his hair hangs in his eyes, Sam's face is angler and young, his smile wide and something like happy. John doesn't look at himself in the picture. He knows the smile he wore was a rear one.


	2. Chapter 2

Dean has a photo taped to the bottom of his bag. He sees it often, every time he clears out the bag to wash his clothes, when he is looking for that knife he just can't place, sometime he just takes everything out and looks at it. The picture is old, but not the oldest he has. Even though he would never admit it, Dean has pictures stashed in many places but this picture is special. It was taken in the winter just after the new year of Sam's JR year of high school, he was still a year away from leaving Dean behind for higher learning. To look at the picture you would never know that Sam was already in the middle of planning his escape.  
The car had stalled, John had popped the hood and Dean had joined him in dig around the engine to find the problem. It was just before sunset when they finished fixing the car. It was a cool night with a slight chill that got under your sweater and set goosebumps free on your arm. Sam had been huddle in the back seat finishing his homework. Dean remembers looking up from the car engine to find Sam standing next to him, Sam had recently hit a late growth spurt that brought him to 6'4 even, he was skinny, gangly, still not use to the last 4 inches of height. The sun was riding low behind him, he held his camera clutched to his chest, a big smile on his face. Dean doesn't remember what Sam said to get them all lined up against the car but there they were in the picture, Sam in the middle, John and Dean on either side of him, all their arms tossed over each other shoulder, all leaning forward toward the camera. Sam had set a timer and Dean remembers he was being a smart ass so when the flash went off they were all caught mid laugh.  
They got home late that night. John let Sam pick where they ate for dinner. After dinner they stopped by a bar on Dean's request, John ordered the beer and no one asked for ID. They got home and there was no fight. It had been a good day.  
Dean took the picture from Sam's pile of pictures a week after he got them developed. All those pictures are gone now, lose to the road. He's sure Sam doesn't even remember taking this picture.


	3. Chapter 3

When Sam was younger he uses to waste him money on those cheap disposable camera. Some teacher of his, in some town in some state had given him one when he was in 3rd grade. Sammy was always a smart kid, it didn't take him long to figure out how to make taking a picture more than just a snap of a button. Sometime around the summer before Sammy entered 4th grade, Dean started stealing him disposable cameras.

The Christmas after Sammy turned 13 Dean surprised him with a real 35 millimeter camera. It was an old beat up Pentax but a capable camera.

It was destroyed on a hunt that got messy. Dean and John came out buried and broken, Sammy just lost his camera. It was back to disposables. Dean would steal them in bulk and give them to Sammy after they had left town so Sam couldn't make him return them. Sam had a thing about stealing. Sam also had a thing about wasting. Sam would use the disposable cameras rather than waste them. John surprised Sam for his 14th birthday with a brand new Canon camera and two new lens.

Sam went through film incredibly fast. Dean and John picked up a habit of steal film at rest stops and drug stores. At 17 Sam had long since stop asking for proof of purchase. He took the film with a smile and put it to use.

Getting the film developed was a task for a family always on the move but it was one of the few things John made time for. Sam never asked why, especially in the later years when everything would end up angry and twisted.

When Sammy left for college he left the camera behind. John found it when he was packing up the hotel resting on the sink in the bathroom. He couldn't bring himself to think Sammy had left it on purpose. At the next stop he left Dean asleep in the motel and found a post office he mailed it off to Stanford and hoped it would find Sammy.

For the next few months Dean and John would find themselves with rolls of film in their jacket pockets. They shoved them in their glove compartments and the trucks of their cars till they started to build up. Towards the end of the 4th month Dean gather all his rolls of film and mail them to Sam, no return address. John tossed his off the side of a bridge in Montana.

The next time John checked his post box, Dean was down in Texas working a gig on his own, the camera was there returned unopened. He knew than he should have put Dean's name on the package. He left the camera in his post box and headed back to the road.


End file.
